Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
