you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
