Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
