if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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