he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
