You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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