he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
