I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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