I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
