i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
