And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
