I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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