sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
