My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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