He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
