ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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