Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
