I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
