our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize