I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize