ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
