so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
