if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize