Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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