I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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