Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
