You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
