Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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