I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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