:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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