I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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