Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
