you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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