So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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