yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
