i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
