I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
