so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
