Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize
