I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i need an iv and a liver transplant
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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