we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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