If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
