you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
