Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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