weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
