Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
