Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Randomize
