Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
