I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
