i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Can you bring me the toilet please
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
