Cold hands, warm shart.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize