this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
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