I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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