just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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