Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
