dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Two words: blizzard sex
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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