Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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