1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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