Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
