Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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