my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
