my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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