I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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