why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
