Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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