I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
