this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
