do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
