At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
