We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
